The morning started with a vague sense of dreariness, most likely due to the fact I have four hours of work after two days off. Extended time away makes it harder to think “yes, this is my responsibility. let me break myself away from this freedom to choose what to do to go back to work.”
Granted, I was the one who called in for the last two days due to an emergency tooth issue, but it seemed urgent at the time I thought of it. That’s because the dreary feeling hasn’t just been an ailment for this morning. It had been more like a thread through me for the last three days. Bright red thread through the chest, out through the sternum, like floss, a tickle, sore, throbbing. Uneasy feeling in my gut.
The morning ended, around 11, with my clothes soaking wet on the right side and piled on the floor. The heat from a glowing oven eye sent the water into a frenzy while I stood naked in the kitchen grabbing a tea cup. As the whistle started, the change of clothes in the dryer warming, I decided everything so far today wasn’t a loss.
In between was a dash to a meeting I’d forgotten about, which, through the haze was like a fast moving hand grabbing me by the collar. It sounded like my Google Calendar reminding me I had ten minutes until the departmental meeting. The 8:30 meetings are mine to record. Afterwards, I sat with Rogan to catch up on everything.
Downstairs, the highlight of coming in, was Sedaris’s Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls Audiobook. Because of it, I got through some errands. Take trash to the bin, take donations to Goodwill, pick up birth control and finally return home.
Where I lock my keys in the car and have to lay on the water covered ground to get the extra key, a child holding a bottle down the sidewalk staring at me.
Next door little girl:
“Why are you wet?”
The resulting conversation ended with.
“Well that’s cool”
Yes, magnetic boxes with keys are cool indeed….
And I’m cold, I thought.
Hence the warm clothes and warm tea as if I was about to take in a cold, lonely stranger with no where to go…or about to help a woman giving birth.